What I Wanted to Hold

my mind can't shut off.
I remember telling someone
once,
"You can't ever turn your mind off. Even
when
you're bored, you're always
thinking
of something."

I think of you;
I hate myself,
I try to teach myself
how to love
those who hurt me and it's easy.
But to love
myself,
that is the endless quest
I am given
in life.
it's heavy.
so very,
very heavy.

--

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